It's been a while since the last time I wrote a H2H~
Well, hello guys! Today I want to write about something that could be a little different for everyone. (And that was on my heart-to-heart topics list for a while now) I guess it depends on how you see things. and it's not to tell you guys "how to deal with it" or "how to stop that from happening" because honestly, I don't even know how to do that.
The thing with me is that...I love too much! and when I love someone (call it friends, family, partner, etc) I am willing to do whatever it takes to help them or give them what they need, even if it means sacrificing my own interests. And I know, I know, that is not good, I'm actually trying to change that a little now and think a little more about me first...which doesn't seem to be working very well but, let's talk about that some other time.
So, because I am like that, sometimes I automatically feel like because I'd do it for them, they would do it for me. And that, is not always the case.
Sadly, I tend to have high expectations on people, even to idealize them; which can lead to being let down easily. But hey, I don't feel let down because one day they can't meet me or because they didn't answered my message. I mean, that'd be stupid. Even tho I am a sensitive person and I can get hurt easily, I won't feel let down by someone forever over a simple, silly thing. I think it takes a lot to make me feel let down forever or at least in a really bad way.
And even if it happens, I've noticed that I try to fix things and try to make everything go back to normal for a while, even if the other person continues acting, or doing things that kinda push me away (if that makes any sense) or rejecting what I'm trying to do. I kinda want to fight for it until there is nothing left to do. Until then, I give up. But, during that process, I feel like I end up getting more hurt than if I just let things flow the way they have to. Cuz it is so hard for me to see that, that person I idealized so much, doesn't really care to let things go that way and because I know if I was the other person, I wouldn't want to let people down. At least not the people I love.
On the other hand, I know it is impossible to keep everyone happy. No matter how hard you try. I've tried for years and it's exhausting! And in the end, when some people don't need you in their lives anymore, they will just move on without thinking of how you felt about that.
I know we all make mistakes, starting with me! I can't count how many mistakes I've made throughout my life but in my case, I hate to do things that can hurt the ones I love.
And for me, it's not about the mistakes they make but more about the actions they have towards me.
I've noticed some people don't really care about other people letting them down, or at least, they seem to move on really easy! How do they do it? I want your secret guys!
Some people live by Forgive and let go but, do you realize how hard it actually is to really forgive someone who hurt you a lot? Just think about it. And I mean, I don't have too many people that hurt me like, a lot a lot but, it's still pretty hard to forgive and forget. Especially because letting go is something I'm still learning to do~ Cuz it's easier to hold on to memories that made us happy instead of trying to just move on from it.
I remember I was once asked If I ever fully forgiven someone and at that time I automatically answered "yes" but, now that I think about it carefully and from that time until now, I'm not sure if that "yes" was the truth.
Being let down, for me, if it comes from someone who is important to me is a big deal. Random people can talk and hurt me but, I won't feel let down by them because, they are not important to me. Yeah, I'll be sad or upset for a little while but then, I'll move on from it but, when someone I love hurts me, it'll stay there, if not for life, for a long time. (not good, I know but what to do? #Drama)
And I've been connecting "being let down" with "beign hurt" a lot in here, I wonder if they are actually the same or I'm connecting them because I feel one thing leads to the other...what do you guys think?
I don't know if I sticked to the title too much this time but yeah~
Anyways, I'd love to read your experiences and thougts on this. Have you been hurt by someone you love? How you deal with it?
Also, let me know what kind of Heart-to-hearts you'd like to read in the future! Let's share some thoughts in here because, sharing is caring!
Until next time!
xox
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