さようなら 2021!

 It's been a while since I last wrote one of this posts. That's mainly because even tho I was still feeling the same and stuck in the same place in my life, I kept saying that I had gone through a lot of changes that taught me so much and made me change for good but, truth was, I was feeling the same and I wanted to believe I was great. Not that it was all bad tho, I was just not feeling my best in so many ways and parts of my life.

Buuuut, last year the changes were intense and they just pushed me to do and change things! Things that really changed my life and my routine. I honestly think I needed them and I can say I finally think my life is moving forward the way I want, I feel more free to make choices I want without feeling guilty or worrying about what others may think. It hasn't been easy tho, especially for a super aprehensive person like me, and not everything has been happy. This year I lost my dog TinkerBell and it was one of the hardest and saddest moments ever. It's been a couple of months since it happened and I still miss her a lot. I also had some health issues (nothing super bad) and stressful moments. But, I don't want to focus on the sad tho or work, cuz I used to only focus on work when it came to the good things in my life. Yes, work has been great. I'm busier and more stressed than ever but, I'm happy and it pays the bills. Work also gave me the opportunity to meet great people who have been unexpected surprises and I really enjoy working with them. 

As some of you already know, this year I started learning Japanese with some of my closest friends. And it's been something I wanted to do for a long, long time. It's been challenging, I'm not gonna lie but, I'm really enjoying it. And it is just some of the things that I'm doing for myself, not for someone else or for a working purpose. And I feel that is something that I really tried to do more this year, things for me without pleasing others. It took me a while, I know but, I'm getting there. Another big change this year was moving to my own place! It was terrifying at the beginning but I love it! It's a real fresh start I needed to feel more at ease and focus on what I need and want. It's been a sloooow process to put everything together and decorate the place as I want it (I still have so many boxes full of things) but, I'm loving every part of it. 

I am aware the pandemic is still out there but, somehow, this year felt a bit better socially speaking. I got the chance to slowly see my friends and family again, almost like we did before and it feels so good! I really, really missed that. One of my closest friends had a baby (auntie Mon couldn't be happier) and I became coworkers with another close friend, I reconnected with some people in a way and, like I mentioned before, I got to meet pretty nice people. 

Something that I was worried about before and I just wrote a lot about was the idea of being in a relationship and the pressure I felt of "having" to be in one. Right now I can tell you that I've learned my lesson, I can't date someone just to date and please others cuz it doesn't go well. And even tho I've given myself the chance to go out with people, I just don't think a realtionship is one of my priorities at the moment. I'm enjoying the process of knowing and loving myself and the freedom I'm starting to have to do things my way. I no longer care if at this point in my life I "should" be in a relationship according to other people or if they think my life is "incomplete" without a partner. I am truly fine the way life is rn. If something happens, if someone comes and makes me want to be a part of a relationship, fine, I'm open to that but, it is not something I am looking for right now. And this time, I really mean it. 

All in all, I think 2021 was good to me in many ways, it really taught me alot about myself and showed me the way to adult in a way I kinda enjoy, to slowly let go of some things without noticing, to focus more on the here and now without creating a million stories about things that could go wrong and just enjoy the little things again.

I'm really looking forward to the next year, hoping it'll be at least, as good as this year was. I know it wasn't the same for everyone but I really wish you all an amazing 2022 full of love, health and everything you need!! ♡